【壯妞館】人不春吶枉少年！

您好，我是壯妞館館長林阿ㄇ，很高興為您服務。



對! 人不春吶枉少年!

不管別人說春吶怎樣怎樣，你都應該來看一看。
大街上到處人擠人，泛濫的扶桑花俗艷的充斥在小短褲和吊咖上，有袖子的衣服在這裡是多餘，擠滿比基尼辣妹和自以為是的青春小台客，刺青和乳溝buffet讓人目不睱給，有多可愛！


不管別人說春吶怎樣怎樣，你都應該來看一看。
記者不做功課，只要有個春都是春吶，所有的活動都想搭上春吶，不好的事也都怪給春吶，趕流行的小台客們錯把貓鼻頭當鵝鸞鼻，於是陪五月天吶喊的人以為自己也春吶!如果春吶可以春吶，我想它應該想罵幹!



不管別人說春吶怎樣怎樣，你都應該來看一看。
來看一看這群可愛又任性，一直為自己理念堅持的靈魂，是怎麼樣讓更多的人，以自己的姿態搖滾，雖然我們趕不上” Glastonbury 搖滾世代”那個黃金年代，但至少我們還有痴人說夢和搖滾的能力，至少。別說我非主流，至少，我可以選擇聽，或不聽。



不管別人說春吶怎樣怎樣，你都應該來看一看。
這裡是搖滾天堂，沒有人應該悲傷或孤獨，每個人都可以是rock star!或是衝到前排當crazy fans，也可以坐在草地應聲合著當冷靜的歌迷，更可以拿起吉他就是stage，喊出屬於你自己的吶喊，找到你自己的春天！

歡迎光臨，在壯妞館內人不春吶枉少年，萬歲！

International Services 5th Edition

Greetings! Welcome to International Services, the 5th Edition!
I am newhite! Thank you for tuning in!

April Fool’s Pranks Still Prevalent

On April Fool’s Day, London media spared no efforts making up news to entertain their audience. A report said that the French President Nicolas Sarkozy is going through a leg-extension surgery and that James Bond could be bi-sexual. Apparently, playing a prank or two on April Fool’s Day remains a popular practice.

A London newspaper reported, “A Doctor Attempts to ‘Extend’ Sarkozy”, claiming that Sarkozy will be placed on a special bed, one similar to an interrogation chair, and calcium supplement will be injected into his joints to make him taller.

An Aussie radio program said that when the Pope visits Australia in July, a special Mass for homosexuals will be held.

Harmless Scale: 七刀刀

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/080401/19/wi9s.html

One, Two, Three, Freeze: A New Type of Flash Mob

Remember the days when flash mobs were still in? There’s now a new type of flash mob called “One, Two, Three, Freeze!” on the streets of Beijing and Brussels, where young people get together to perform weird, fixed gestures, attracting the attention of passers-by.

It’s like time’s stopped here: you see young people holding their chins, smoking a cigarette, pointing at the sky, that is, without any movement. Even a fixed kiss proved to be very challenging, so some people chose to be a frozen Ninja, a David statue, etc.

You can be whatever you want to be. The only rule is to hold remain motionless for five minutes. This game is now spreading to American and European cities now; so next time when you see a bunch of inactive people, don’t be surprised!

Harmless Scale: 七刀刀

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/080402/17/wjd9.html

Compared ith those out there who are already working, I've been lucky enough to be able to delay reality smashing in my face for almost two years. That said, however bad I want to continue to delay it, I am graduating in one month. Forgive me if you find the International
Services shrinking in size. A grad student leaving school in month is doing her best!

Thank you for tuning in today!

I'll see you next week!

【小飯館】打工(下)

下集是個Cosplay四部曲。

1.熱情粉絲
條件：不用作事，只須排隊。
內容：大家都在公關公司集合出發，上午十點開始排隊，前50名都是跟我同一集團，參加某許姓歌手的代言手機首賣會。等待期間可自由行動，唯記者採訪時須展現熱情，瘋狂喊叫。下午三點簽完閃人，拿簽名手機回公司換當日酬勞。
價碼：時薪300/hr，真的沒做任何事，還得到一塊簽名板。

2.試穿小弟
條件：要會推銷，最好能親身示範。
內容：體驗勾勾新鞋的活動，讓我在東區及天母的加州健身俱樂部來回奔波了整個暑假。除了要把這雙鞋捧上天外，也需要應付試穿者各式各樣的問題，尤其是腳臭。
價碼：100/hr，外加一雙推銷長達兩個月的鞋。而且附贈加州內部八卦，以及看到黃立行。

3.隧道看門人
條件：人在現場就行。
內容：知名洗髮精的體驗隧道，每天就是搬音響、冷氣機、抽風機、椅子等值錢器材，結束後再搬回去。由於整個活動是讓民眾自行體驗，所以看書反而成為主要消磨時間的工作，有閒暇時順便觀察有沒有遊民借住在裡面。
價碼：目前擁有的數位相機。

4.大胃王
條件：不怕被雷公劈。
內容：幫忙HP舉他們員工的運動會，很快就來到了午餐時間。吃什麼咧？是MOS喔！而且自由取用不限量。在下午活動即將開始之際，著手清點豐盛的剩餘食物。大概有兩百多個漢堡、幾十袋炸雞以及堆積如山的飲料。通通帶回家的結果讓人都忘記那次工作到底有沒有領錢了。

價碼：吃不完的MOS，無價。

小飯館本周慎終追遠推薦：潤餅

一大早就幫忙張羅裡面要包的料，有紅燒肉、自己剝的雞絲、蛋皮、香腸、豬肝等。每年都在期盼下次會不會有新的料，不過這希望已落空25年。

【蕩婦館】發發回來了！如何在泰國無害

大家好！我是【蕩婦館】發發，很高興為您服務！

首先，內心戲先上演一下：看著停車場管理員，日益多變精進的文風
讓我本人深深的感到欽佩，我本人根本毫無文風可言呀！（慚）

蕩婦發發我從Pattaya回來了！
喔耶！先來一張小團體照，嚇嚇大家！
看！有香港、泰國、韓國、印度、台灣五個國家的人在這張照片裡哦～ （背景黒黒的沒記錯應該是達卡的捧由）

ㄎㄎ

話說發發我真是水深火熱年輕蓮花的前三天（語無倫次）

要在24小時之內想好創意腳本，拍出一段影片，剪接上音樂上字完成，真要老命！

去了才真的發現，我英文有夠濫！聽的懂，但不知道如何回應，又不擅長找聊天話題，真是悶．．．

但我的夥伴簡直是語文天才，英文說的非常非常非常好，刺激刺激

最後我只好祭出無害殺手鐗，把我創造的關於腋下流蘇的恐怖爆笑故事，拿出來嚇他們，

嘿嘿嘿～還算有用啦～至少能把自己的特性藉由怪故事多少展現出來一點，

因為我最討厭被誤認是一個內向害羞的乖乖女了！！馬的！

但當語言無法如自己心意表達時，我的外表看起來就是那麼回事，切刀刀刀刀刀～～～

後來跟泰國和香港隊天天走在一起，大家也變成好朋友了，真心希望友誼長存．．．

最後一天晚上，大家在房間裡喝調酒，兩位帥哥累了．．

大家開始交換照片，每個人都是apple哦，只有我沒有＞＜ 哼來買一台！

Joey在學得獎的日本廣告裡面不闔眼的女生，cooooooooooool

ZONG在我們手上寫了他幫我們取的泰文名字，我是FAR，他說是天空的意思！

我們六人的ADFEST通行證，上面有我們來自的城市，來字的公司和我們的姓名！

International Services 4th Edition

Greetings! Welcome to International Services, the 4th edition!

I am newhite. Thanks for tuning in again!

Man’s Best Friend? Not So Much for Postmen
There are more than 10,000 postmen in Thailand. According to a recent survey, about 18% of them has been chased by a dog when on duty. To spare the postmen the “dog threat” post office in Thailand now offers special classes, teaching postmen the habits of dogs.

600 postmen in Bangkok were enrolled in the class, where they learn how to prevent dogs from biting them. They are suggested not to look straight into a dog’s eyes, which is considered a provocative action by dogs. They are also taught to relax while walking so as not to agitate the dogs.
But apparently, the most effective way is to make friends with the dogs, who the postmen have to deal with every day. This will spare them the most trouble.

Harmless Scale: 七刀刀刀

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/080324/5/vy73.html

Twin Brothers Both Run Breakfast Restaurants
Aged 71, Ming Can Wu and Ming Tang Wu are twins living in Taoyuan, a city one hour away from Taipei. Not only do they look and weigh the same, but they live right next to each other. And they are both breakfast restaurant owners.

Ming Can and Ming Tang are just one of those twins who have dozens of funny stories to tell about being twins.

One tine, Ming Can went to see an eye doctor, and not long after he left, Ming Tang went too. The doctor was like, “What are you doing here again?”

Yet another time, Ming Tang went to a barber, and the next day, Ming Can went too. And the barber was like, “I thought I cut your hair yesterday, why is it growing so fast?”

Twelve years ago, Ming Can decided to open a breakfast restaurant, and within a few months, Ming Tang did the same thing, right next to his brother’s store. It’s not that they get competitive or anything; it’s just that when customers are often confused. “Didn’t he was just there frying radish cake? What is he doing here in the next store?”

Harmless Scale: 七刀刀刀

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/080325/78/vzvc.html

Saving Private OREO

A driver in Connecticut in the US was pulled over by a state police for speeding. His claim was because he didn’t hold on to his OREO.

Many people like to dip OREO into the milk before eating it, but instead of soaking the whole cookie, they usually dip it. The 28-year-old driver said, he was eating OREO with milk in the car, and he accidentally dropped the whole cookie into the milk, which freaked him out and made him speed.

After testing, he was proven not driving under influence, but now the court will have to decide whether saving OREO is a legitimate reason to speed.

Harmless Scale: 七刀刀刀刀

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/080323/1/vxa6.html

Are You Named Right?

A British Survey found that one’s success is associated to his name to some degree. Those with a name like James or Elizabeth are more bound to success; on the other hand, Johns and Helens might have a less bright future.

Based on the survey, Ryans and Sophies are the most attractive, while guys named George and girls named Anne lack attraction. Jack and Lucy are names that bring people good luck.

Some claim that employers tend to like people with certain names, but others argue that if “George” is such an unattractive name, how do you explain George Clooney? Researchers say, if George Clooney was named Ryan Clooney, he would be even more popular.

Harmless Scale: 七刀刀刀刀刀刀

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/080326/1/w3hi.html

Give your baby a good name. I'll see you next week!

【無害停車場】黏黏的魔力

你好，歡迎光臨【無害停車場】！ 請至自助洗車區。

既然上禮拜林阿摸談了處女座，那我也來談談好了。

我想是沒有人會想關心停車場管理員是什麼星座的，但既然起了這話題，大家不妨來猜猜那個陰沉又黑暗的傢伙是屬於哪顆星的…

___________________

管理員的老媽子是處女座的，這點我從她每次為管理員送便當就知道。年紀早已不小的管理員，但他媽卻每天堅持幫他送便當，從那便當袋的材質到鐵盒便當的外觀就知道，這個老媽子相當有自己的堅持。東西雖然舊了，但卻看得出來非常得珍惜，每天使用的東西也看不出有什麼髒汙。據我旁敲側擊的了解，管理員老媽在家也是非常勤儉，東西不但常保如新，對於某些小細節的清潔維持更是有如近乎苛求的自我標準。例如：廚房！
根據我的了解，他的廚房根本是抵達極致的表準，不但流理台不可能有任何油汙之外，水槽也是要求在每次使用之後不留下水珠。她的超凡標準在廚房這個屬於她的領域中發揮得淋漓盡致，全家人不敢越雷池造次半步。據管理員表示，某次他想試探管理員老媽到底有多病態，他把廚房的垃圾桶移開(他在家廚房都是打赤腳的)，想檢視看看這種小角落能有多乾淨。沒想到，垃圾桶背後的磁磚依舊雪白，他不死心用手指去死命摳那最深的磁磚角落，震驚的是，手指頭上沒有任何的灰塵與髒污。從此之後，他再也不敢質疑他老媽的power，在她的勢力範圍裡不敢有任何挑戰和造次，不管是行為上的或是精神上的。

在管理員搬出來住後，以為終於可以以自己的方式生活，沒想到，他老媽長久種下的因現在才要慢慢浮現為果。他不是處女座的，但漸漸的也開始對於某些點有著神經質的堅持，例如：黏黏滾筒這東西。


黏黏滾筒就是它

黏黏滾筒這東西到底官方的名字是什麼我沒查到，至少管理員是這麼稱呼的，我就姑且沿用之。管理員對於黏黏滾筒這東西有多狂熱，從他每天使用的量就可以得知，他每天使用這個東西黏遍全家各個東西，舉凡地毯、大衣到床單、窗簾、地板、牆壁等，只要是能滾的，他都給它滾過一輪。甚至他的寵物-----一隻相當可愛的長毛狗，也時常給他滾個幾下兼做為按摩與情感交流。據可靠消息指出，他的毛毛狗還挺享受的(他覺得主人好愛他)。

此外，黏黏滾筒除了達到實用的目的之外，精神上的滿足更是效果驚人。管理員只要一看到地上有毛髮棉絮就渾身不對勁，幾乎已經達病態的程度，恨不得先除之而後快。把所有的眼中釘除淨之後，整個程序並沒有完成。以下是管理員宣稱黏黏滾筒最讓人感動的部分-----他小心翼翼的撕下沾滿棉絮、衛生紙屑、毛髮、灰塵、角質、鼻屎的自黏紙，放在手掌心上仔細的端詳觀看。每片看的時間長短不一，眉頭時而舒展時而深鎖。我不好問他到底在想些什麼，覺得似乎太個人，只是每次看他嘴巴都念念有詞，好像在講評語打分數似的…

我想管理員最後應該會永遠幸福快樂的和黏黏滾筒走一輩子。身為他唯一的朋友，我可以看見當他對著黏黏紙時，好像發現什麼時，他眼中閃耀的光采；也可以看見，在它住處的儲藏室裡，那些自黏紙補充包庫存，還夠他黏好一陣子。

最後僅祝他與他的長毛狗生活幸福順利。

【壯妞館】青年節快樂！

您好，我是壯妞館館長林阿ㄇ，很高興為您服務。

青年節應該來些青年特權的吧!!!since都沒有extra的假期可以放了，爛。

(哈哈，所以我相當任性的占用停車場po文，管理員應該不會介意)

例如像是青年吃到飽、少年大拍賣、青年租稅折扣減免之類的。
(好吧，我承認我餓了)

真沒fu，因為老子不老子，青年也不青年了。
青年一點也不青春、不憤怒、不好奇、也不飢渴，
沒事就打b泡咖，一天到晚登登登，揪團練功才是重要的事。
窩在父母身邊，裝乖唸書也不打算找工作，能混多久就多久，
青年生活的意義不在宇宙繼起之生命，而是跑趴趕場，奔赴每場和麻吉吃吃喝喝的聚會。

那有什麼意義？
意義!？能吃嗎？
青年說，我還在找我的人生目標，我有我的熱情和理想，你們這些大人不了解，或許哪天我可以成為下一個楊宗緯。
這個社會有好多標籤噢，用XYZ世代甚至宅啊草莓啊果凍都好，青年並不在乎，哼哼。

拜託，我是青年耶，國家現在主人翁，將來的社會棟樑！
什麼80後、30前，你們愛用什麼就用什麼吧。
青年難道就不能有些特權耍任性？
(當然青年不反對在婦女節和重陽節，其他人也可以耍特權)


青年萬歲! 曾經青年的 萬萬歲！
青年節大家都快樂!!!!!

歡迎光臨，在壯妞館內人人都是青年，萬歲！